It really started on Sunday night around 8pm when I started to get restless. I couldn't just sit and watch tv and wind down for the night.

I got up. Brushed my teeth. Brushed my hair. Went to bed with the TV still on.

I "ate cheerios" before bed. That was the best part of the night.

Then, I fell asleep, still with the TV on. I woke up about 3am to a repeat of the late night news that I somehow missed in all my TV watching. A plane had "disappeared" and I felt weird. (get used to this word, it will come up a lot because I cannot describe how I felt any other way at this point.) I went to the bathroom and went back to bed.

I was woken up at 5:45am Monday morning. I couldn't figure out why I had to get up! I felt foggy and everything I looked at was blurry. I tried to sit up, but ended up more just rolling over on my back and kicking the covers off. I asked, "What? Why do I have to get up?" Carlos said, "Because it's Monday-- It's a work day..." He seemed so confused which made me more confused. He was just reacting to my strange question and strange actions. When I finally got up and sat on the side of my bed I started crying because I really didn't have any reason to want to go to work this week. It is just weighing me down emotionally with drains me physically and I am just about over the amount of work I get.

I pulled myself together and went to work. It rained that night. I was so tired I fell asleep before 10pm and loved listening to the thunder and rain outside. It was nice.

Then yesterday I woke up to hear that they were still searching for this plane off the coast of South America. I don't know why I was so strangely compelled to stay tuned in to this plane. I almost wonder if my desire for "magical realism" in my own life is forcing me to make up things to keep my life less boring. What would the world really do if the plane disappeared in the age where we can track everything? I also wanted to be on that plane. Even if it meant I would die because at least I would know what happened to the dang thing. I could be a survivor of a plane hit by lightning that ripped the plane open. Ok, maybe not-- don't have that kind of luck.

I felt foggy again and just felt... well... weird. I put on FB that it was a weird day. Then things happened... 1- A roll over accident on the freeway that made me late, but it was on the opposite side of the freeway. 2- I had cloves in my coffee instead of cinnamon. This was strange and yet good but bad. I drank most of it. Then I decided it wasn't so good. 3- I had more offers to sell my jewelery. Then I found out Annika's mom is doing the same thing in the city right next to mine. So strange. 4- I got offered the job I applied for and interviewed for less than a week ago. I want it, but I have to base my decision on whether or not Carlos gets the job at Holly so I can decrease my stress level (which unfortunately also decreases my pay.) It ended up being perfect hours too! It was just conveyed to me in a really strange manner. I didn't get an offer to accept, I was basically told, "See ya on the 15th." 5- I fell asleep early again. This time by 9. When I woke back up, it was about 1030 and just went straight back to sleep. But, I didn't fall asleep before finding out my mysterious plane was actually found in the Atlantic and deciding not to take the job. I reminded myself it was a strange day.

I am hoping today I will find out that I can actually do a good job at my job and that I made the right decision for my career instead of my health. Sad and sappy, I know.

Now today is so uneventful. I am hoping to find out some good news that I can't really share here just in case. I am praying for it in fact. I don't know how else to describe the way I feel but weird. I am hopeful that this is month. This is the month that good things start to happen for my family and that I start to move along with my life. In the strangest way ever... I hope that my plane has something to do with it. I don't know how else to say that. I know it's not the plane and I 'm not crazy but it would be cool to be attached to a disaster in a weird way and then have good things happen as a result. We shall see if my <> creative mind can be in a better place. It's time to do something good with my life.