Tonight

When we were winding down tonight, after our normal dinner, video games and a movie, Paul said, "It's times like these that I wish we could start our commune and grow our own food and alcohol.". While the comment cracked us all up, the sentiment was the same... I love those guys and wish we could grow our own "food and alcohol.". If we could, we would make a ton of money.

Sometimes I wonder if the only way to have something like that is to give up everything and start over. I stress out so much about paying bills. I work two jobs just to stay on top of things, but I would give up a lot of things to stay home and have kids. If there were just some way to start from zero and only have a house payment and utilities. I don't want a million dollars. I want to be helped enough to help myself the way I want to at 30. I don't want a huge house on the beach. I want a house big enough for my family- which obviously includes Paul/Noel and the boys- and garden and an art room.

I hope someday it will come true...